Thursday, October 14, 2010

Yes, I can do that.

It's been a week since I last posted, but there's nothing really new. My sleep study is next week, which I'm a bit nervous about. I just get a little creeped out thinking there will be somebody watching me sleep. I think I'll take some melatonin to help me sleep that night.

In case I didn't mention it before, I plan on being quite frank and brutally honest in this blog. Those who read this blog and know me in real life probably realize that this is contradictory to my personality. I'm a very modest person. I don't like talking about private issues and body functions. It's quite embarrassing.

I'm only blogging to help chronicle my journey and show others exactly what happens during the process. It's not an easy way out by any means. It's a long and complicated journey that will require me to make lifestyle changes. In fact, it will be better in the long run because it will force me to make these changes. I'll have to eat smaller portions, because my stomach just won't hold much. Overeating can have serious consequences, including food coming back up. Also, if I don't exercise, I'll lose muscle along with fat and end up with a bunch of hanging skin. I certainly don't want that to happen.

About a year or so ago, I told my Dad about my decision to have weight loss surgery. He was supportive of it. He's always been a bit critical of my weight, but I know he loves me and wants me to be healthy. Anyway, he asked me a question that really caught me off guard. He said, "Can you wipe your own butt?" I thought, OMG, what kind of question is that?? Of course I can! Apparently, someone he knew who was a big girl could not do it and had to rely on her husband to do it for her. How embarrassing. I'm so glad I never got to that point. By the way, the couple mentioned above are no longer together.

I can do this. I can wipe my own butt, among other things. I can scratch my back, cross my legs, jog, be intimate with my husband, squat, get back up without an issue, touch my toes, tie my shoes, put on my pants while standing up and walk as much (or fast) as I want. A few of these things may be difficult, but they are absolutely doable. I tend to push myself even harder if I find a physical task is difficult. I'm happy to say that I have not allowed my size to interfere with physical tasks. I'd say probably the biggest effect it's had is that I cannot run and I get fatigued easily. I'm hoping that losing the weight will take the fatigue away. The time before that I lost over 70 lbs, I remember that I felt so good. I can't wait to feel good again.

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