Monday, March 14, 2011
Feeling Fat Again
I have lost a total of 56 pounds now. That's 28 pre-op and 28 post-op. The other day, something happened that made me feel like I never lost those 56 pounds, but in fact gained 56 pounds. My husband and I took our kids out to dinner. When we were done eating, went out to get in the van. Although we looked before crossing the parking lot, out of nowhere a Ford Explorer sped through the parking lot and almost hit two of our three children. I got the kids safely in the car and my husband confronted the driver, an early twenty something woman. She got very hateful with him and said loud enough for our children to hear, "If I had seen them, I would have run them the f___ over." I was just shocked that somebody could say that! It really scared my kids (not to mention us!) We ended up getting the police involved and she has been in trouble for quite a bit before. Anyway, when she made the comment about running them over, my jaw hit the floor and I commented on how that was uncalled for. She told me, "Shut up, you fat b***h!" I was already incredibly upset that our children were almost hit, so that hit me like a ton of bricks. We were shaken up for the rest of the night, we'd had plans to go shopping but decided to go home. I don't want it to seem like I wasn't concerned for the kids, or that what follows is more important, but this blog is about weight loss, not my children, so I'm blogging about how her comment made me feel. For the last few days, I've stewed over that. All this work that I've put into losing weight and she took all of my success away in those five little words. I feel horrible, sad, defeated. I know that I shouldn't let her have that power over me, but I can't help it. It gets to me.