Nine Month Update

It's been one year since my first consultation with my surgeon and a little over nine months since my surgery.  A lot has happened since my last update, but it's mostly just person stuff, not surgery related.  I've lost ten pounds since my last update.  Most of that was within the past month or so, believe it or not!  When I look at my weight loss ticker, it just doesn't seem real.  189.  That's 97 lbs lost and 39 to go until I reach my goal.  I've lost 77% of my excess body weight, so even if I don't lose anymore, I consider this surgery to be successful.  I do, however, plan on losing a lot more!

I started a new job in September and that has kept me very busy.  I'm got a job in a deli/bakery.  I may have mentioned before that I have a lot of bakery experience.  Because it's been so hard to find a job, I took it knowing that it would be very hard on my new lifestyle.  Being around all of those delicious goodies all day has been very hard and I'll admit to have indulged more times than I should have - my vice being puff pastries and cheesecake.  I think the novelty of them are starting to wear off and I'm getting back on track.  In fact, I lost three pounds this past week alone!  It's also been difficult because when I'm at work I have to eat fast and eat whatever I can get a hold of.  Sometimes there's some kind of high protein entree in the hot case but it's mostly fried food.  This is how I've found out that I'm able to tolerate fried foods once more.  I'm also able to eat bread again.  This scares me a bit, so I'm trying hard to avoid them.

My schedule is very hectic right now.  I go to class through the day then work in the evening.  Sometimes I am fortunate to work during the day on days I don't have school.  I don't see my kids as often as I'd like, some days for just an hour a day.  I miss them, I miss being home and I miss eating right.  So you'll have to forgive me for not updating my blog lately, I really just haven't had time!

Speaking of school, check out this photo to the left.  This was me in March 2010 when I was inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society.  My how things change!  I look at that and can't believe that's me.  It's true that you really don't realize how big you are.  I look like me only grossly swollen.

I was wearing a size 28 in this picture, and it was tight.  Today I'm in a 16 in pants and can wear a large or some mediums in shirts.  My pants are significantly bigger than my shirts because I have a lot of excess skin around my abdomen.  Details about that in a bit, though, first I want to talk about my clothing size.  I found Spanx to be my best friend.  They really hold things in and make a better fit.  Right now I have to tuck the excess skin into my pants and it just looks horrible.  I'm wearing a pant size 1-2 sizes bigger than my waist and legs, so it always looks frumpy and I hate that!

About a month ago, I decided it was time to buy a couple good bras.  I'd had two bra measurements done and neither of them were correct.  I started this journey at a 48DDD.  I thought what fit me best right now was a 38DDD.  That was until I went for an actual bra fitting.  I tried on a few bras and had someone adjust them and finally found my size.  Hold on to your seats.  38G!!  Holy cow.  This just validated the feeling that I had that my breasts were way too big and causing problems (mostly back pain.)  It was impossible to walk into a store and find a bra in my size.  I did buy to balconet bras from Lane Bryant and let me tell you the results are amazing.  I'm half tempted to post a comparison picture between my old bra and the new one.

So I figured I'd had enough and made a consultation with a local plastic surgeon who was highly recommended by people associated with my bariatric surgeon.  I mostly talked with her about a breast reduction, to which she said I was a good candidate for.  I must get my BMI to 30 (it's currently 33) and be at a stable weight for three months before I can have surgery.  So we're working on it, almost there!  Hoping by next spring, maybe summer, I'll be able to get that taken care of.

Gross hanging skin in the back and in the front!

I also talked to her about a panniculectomy - removal of the excess skin.  She said that will have to be a totally separate surgery and we will discuss it more later.  It's going to be a lot more complicated as far as getting insurance approval for because it has to be proven to be medically necessary.  This is true (because of rashes and such) but it's harder to prove that it is needed.

This skin is not going to go away on it's own.  To the left is a picture of me, 37 weeks pregnant with my twins.  My belly stretched out so big!  I have too many stretchmarks to count.  My skin has totally lost it's elasticity.  Even if I got down to 120 lbs (which I don't plan on) I will still have the hanging skin because it's just not possible for it to bounce back.

After the first of the year, and when I get closer to my goal weight, I will be working more towards my goal of a panniculectomy.  I dream about it, how wonderful it'll be to just zip up a pair of jeans in the correct size and have them hug my body.  Instead, they are tight around the abdomen and way too loose around the waist and in the legs.  I recently bought a pair of size 16 jeans from Old Navy.  I tried on a pair of 14s but I couldn't get them comfortably zipped.  Instead, I have the 16s which are too baggy and I have to keep pulling up but at least they zip, right?  If I wore my Spanx every day I could probably wear the 14s.  But I don't want to wear them to work because let's face it, they are not exactly comfortable and I do a lot of physical work with lifting and squatting.

Speaking of lifting and squatting, I went to see my primary doctor a couple weeks ago to get a prescription for B12 shots.  She had seen me only a month prior to that visit and said even though I'd only lost a few pounds I looked even smaller.  She said I looked toned and the new job was probably giving me a nice workout.  I do feel a little more toned, too.  This morning I had my husband feel my thigh and even he said it felt a lot harder.  Yay for toning!  Oh, back to the B12.  I got the injections so I didn't have to remember to take a pill every day.  I'll inject myself once a month.  I haven't done it yet, my first one will be in two weeks.  I think I'll see if my mother-in-law can do it for me since she's an RN.  Now I just need to find a multivitamin that I like and remember to take my iron!

I'm still drinking a protein shake for breakfast most mornings.  I haven't had one in the past week because I had a mild stomach bug (my first one since surgery) and sometimes the protein shakes upset my stomach anyway.  Didn't want to tempt fate.  I have found a new way to enjoy my protein shakes, though - fat free coffee creamer!  Sure it has a few calories and carbs but I'm not using much of it and I love the flavor that it gives a straight Vanilla Bean Torte flavored Nectar protein powder.  Delicious.  Just typing about it makes me want to go get one.

I guess that's about it for updates.  I seriously need to develop an "ick" factor for the food at work.  I need to get my eating back under control and get the spark back that I had just after surgery.  I'm so close to goal, I don't want to blow it now!

I want to give a special shout out to my support group at New Life Weight Loss Center in Herrin, IL.  These people have become a family to me.  I love you all so much and am grateful for the friendships I have made and support you all give me!

Cuisinart Smart Stick Hand Blender 200W

Oh, the things I imagine using this handy piece of kitchen equipment for!  It's the Cuisinart Smart Stick Hand Blender 200W.  I have a chance to try one through Bzz Agent and I'm really hoping they pick me.  Then, I'll be able to tell you all the wonderful things it could do!  The first thing I'd try, of course, is a protein shake.  Maybe some protein in coffee because I can never quite get that to blend well enough.  Purees! Oh, the purees this thing could do, which we all know is essential to the new bariatric patient.  I would make purees with it even now.  I'd puree cauliflower to make mashed cauliflower or cauliflower pizza crust.  I'd puree squash to make soup.  The list goes on and on!  I bet it would even whip eggs to make a fluffy omelet.  Mmmm!!  This thing could be a bariatric patient's best friend!  I hope they choose me so I can tell you all first hand how this tool works!

Blender Bottles

I've went through so many blender bottles since starting my weight loss journey a year ago.  They have almost all leaked.  I have a new opportunity to try the BlenderBottle by Sundesa.  I'll be getting it through BzzAgent.  I'm so excited to try it!  I still have one protein shake a day, religiously, so I'm really looking forward to this Bzz campaign.

I'll be posting more of an update post in the very near future!

Onederland

Well, I did it!  Just a day after I made the last post, I made  it to Onederland.  My weight is finally in the 100's.  It's been a long time coming but I did it.  You know the odd thing, I think I made it because I slightly increased my calories.  It makes me wonder if my metabolism just needed a jolt.  I got about 1000 calories a day a few days in a row.  Now I will drop it back down to 800 and see what happens.

Granted the reason for my calorie increase was not a good one.  I was preparing for my twins' birthday party.  I made a ton of lollipops and cupcakes.  I had to sample some to make sure they were okay.  Well, maybe I didn't have to, but would you serve food you hadn't tasted?

The last time I weighed this much was in 2003.  The time before that was high school.  I actually got down to 172 last time I lost a massive amount of weight and will be thrilled to reach that again.

Did you do the math?  8 years ago I weighed 172.  A year ago I weighed 286. I actually gained most of that within a year!  That's a 114 lb gain.  Yikes.  Thank you progesterone & estrogen.  I stand by my claim that Provera is the devil in shot and/or pill form.  So now I've lost 87 lbs of that regain.

That brings me to mini-goals.  I think I've shared some, but I've made a few more so it's time to post them again.

Mini-Goals:

• 199 lbs (Onederland)
• Fit into husband's t-shirts
• 195 lbs (Less than husband)
• 186 lbs (100 pounds lost)
• 172 lbs (weight I was at my last weight)
• 167 lbs / BMI 29 (No longer obese)
• 150 lbs - Goal Weight

I don't know if I'll get to my goal weight but I'm going to try my hardest!  At 6 months out my weight loss has definitely slowed, but it has not stopped and that's the important part.

The picture above is one that I took at my twins' birthday party.  It was at the Science Center and there was a full length mirror, which I don't have at home, so I took full advantage of it.  Quite honestly, I was surprised by how thin I looked.  I'm also getting my curves back.

Speaking of curves, I've got plenty of them but not how I'd like them.  Sure my breasts are looking a little better, it's no longer the same size as my waist and my pear shape is finally going away, but I have so much loose skin.  This is a picture taken of me from behind.  Those aren't fat rolls on my back.  It's hanging skin.  It's even worse in the front.  So much so that it hangs over my pubic area.  I'd probably be a size 12 by now if it wasn't there.  Maybe even a 10.  But as it is I have to tuck it in and then the front of my jeans look funky (you can see this in the post below where I'm standing in front of my husband's Trans Am.) 

My jeans are baggy in the legs, loose around the waist but tight around the lower abdomen.  I hope everything catches up because I hate it.  It's awful and takes a lot to maintain so I don't get a rash or odor under the skin.  It adds an extra 5-10 minutes to my shower time to make sure everything is completely dry plus adding any powder or anti-chafing gel that may be necessary.

I don't know if plastic surgery will be something that I'll be able to do, but if I have the opportunity I'll definitely consider it.  If I wasn't so diligent with staying dry and clean I'd be having major issues with rashes right now.  We'll see when that time comes. 

Red Toenails

Why did the elephant paint it's toenails red?  So it could hide in a cherry tree!
Why did the bariatric patient paint her toenails red?  Because she could!

I was about to head out to a support group meeting the other day in flip-flops.  I looked down at my poor pitiful feet which are in desperate need a pedicure.  I had to do something.  I went into the bathroom, took my bright red nail polish out of the medicine cabinet, put my leg foot up on the bathroom sink and stood there painting my toenails.  It's so much easier than it used to be.  

I had my 6 month post-op appointment yesterday.  It went excellent.  I'm right on track and my labs were perfect.  Guess I'm doing something right!  I have some trouble with hanging skin.  I was told that if down the road it is still a problem, my surgeon can do something about it so that's a relief.  In the meantime, adding weights to my cardio should be a helpful way to tone it.  I bought a size Large shirt yesterday.  It fit so nice, I went back and bought another one today.  I'm loving my new size.  Oh, one more thing before I go.  See the scale above?  I'm hoping to be in Onederland this weekend.  Crossing my fingers!

How I See Food

To me, the whole world is a Taco Town.  If you're not sure what I'm referring to, I highly encourage you to view the Saturday Night Live skit, Taco Town at  http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/Taco-Townmpg--/229053.  You'll have to watch a short commercial first.  What I can eat and what other people can eat has such a stark contrast.  I see the whole world eating Taco Town Tacos.  So what's a Taco Town Taco?

It's a crunchy all beef taco smothered in cheese, lettuce tomato and special southwestern sauce.  Then it's wrapped in a soft tortilla with a layer of refried beans.  Then it's wrapped in a corn tortilla with a layer of monterey jack cheese.  And, it gets even awesomer when it's covered in a gordita shell and smothered in a layer of guacomolito sauce wrapped around the outside.  But it gets bigger!  It's baked in a corn husk filled with pico de gallo then wrapped in a crepe with egg, sausage and portabello mushroom.

Then the whole thing is wrapped in a Chicago style deep dish pizza.  But wait, it's not a Taco Town taco until it's rolled up in a blueberry pancake, dipped in batter and deep fried until a golden brown.  Finally, it's served in a tote bag filled with spicy vegetarian chili.  This sounds insane right?  Well, a quick search for these images on Google proved that it wasn't so far fetched.  It's amazing how many people have actually tried making this at home!  Not only did they make it, they ate it, too.

This huge monster of a taco probably sound outlandish to most people, though.  But, the thing is, anytime I go out to eat I see Taco Town Tacos.  Not literally, but metaphorically.  Take this Baconator from Wendy's for example.  My husband loves these.  Admittedly, he does not eat one very often, I can only remember him eating one or two in the past year.  This thing is huge.  If I tried to eat it, I would probably only get a couple bites in.  Then, I'd spend the next hour with nausea, sweats and the feeling that a baseball sized glob of food was stuck in my esophagus.  I can't even imagine trying to eat this thing!  The burger alone weighs 300 grams, that's about 10 ounces or 2/3 of a pound.  My poor little stomach will only hold 4-6 ounces.  It has 930 calories (that's over my 800/day goal), 58 grams of fat, 195 mg of cholesterol and 41 carbs.  About the only thing it has going for it is 58 grams of protein, but then again, look at all that burger, cheese and bacon.  Of course it's going to have a lot of protein.  Unfortunately the calories, fat and cholesterol are not worth it.

KFC's Double Down was something that repulsed me even before surgery.  Using fried chicken as the bun?  Seriously?  And people raved about this.  I didn't take the time to look up nutrition facts.  I just know that it makes me sick just looking at it.  I do like KFC's grilled chicken, though.  Our local restaurant only recently started serving it.  It was delicious.

Even a Big Mac from McDonald's just looks so huge to me now.  How did I ever eat one and still be hungry?  You could remove two of the buns and one of the patties and it would still be too much for me to eat.

There's even a local Mexican restaurant whose claim to local fame is a burrito the size of your head.  Who can eat that??  Apparently, a lot of people can.  But not me, and for that I'm grateful.

Now, I know what you're thinking.  The only reason I feel this way toward food is because I've had surgery.  That's partially right.  I think that having the surgery has put a lot of things into perspective.  The portion sizes in this country have increased dramatically.  Just look that this burger from 20 years ago compared to today's burger.  The calories are almost doubled!  It's no wonder we are an obese nation.  We need to get portion size under control.

 Who's to blame?  Us?  The restaurants?  Fast Food?  Busy lifestyles?  I think it's a combination of everything.  We wanted bigger sizes and the restaurants gave it to us.  We got too busy to make homecooked meals so we stopped in the drive-thru too often. 

So, if you haven't had surgery or don't plan to, how can you get your portions under control?  First of all, eat from a smaller plate or bowl.  We also eat with our eyes.  If our plate looks full, we are more likely to eat less.  Secondly, eat slow.  Allow the food time to hit the stomach and for the stomach to send a signal to your brain that you are full.  Often, overeating is because we are simply eating too fast.

Focus on protein and fiber.  These are the things that will fill you up and keep you full longer.


Limit bad carbs.  This includes potatoes and pasta.  If you must eat carbs, opt for whole grain.

The general rule of thumb is half of your plate for veggies, 1/4 for protein and 1/4 for grains.  However, this will be different for bariatric patients.  We must always eat our protein first and this will compose the majority of our meal.  We should have about 4 oz.  Then, we eat our veggies.  If, and only if, there is room left for grains, then we can have them.  The majority of the time, however, there will be no room left for grains. 

The first time I went to Denny's post-op, I swear my eyes just about popped out of my head when the waitress set the plate down in front of me.  I couldn't believe how big it looked.  I ended up eating about 1/4 of the meatloaf, 1/4 of the green beans and a few bites of the potatoes.  I took the rest home and got 2 more meals out of it.  It's not that much different today at 6 months post-op.  I always at least have one more meal whenever I go out to eat.  Gotta love sleeve leftovers. 

I even started ordering my steaks medium rare because I knew when I brought them home to heat them up, they'd cook a little more and I hate well done steak. 

So now that we've established that I'm repulsed by portion sizes, what do I think is an acceptable fast food portion size?  Check out that picture to the left.  That would be it... minus the soda, of course.

6 Months Post-op

I've been meaning to update for a while.  Really, I have.  Life has just gotten in the way!  I'm doing pretty good.  Weight loss has slowed down to a crawl.  In fact, I've been hanging out at just a couple pounds above 200 for a month now.  So close to Onederland but not there yet.  I thought I was going to make it by the end of June, but I didn't.  Now, I'm hoping to make it before I go see my surgeon for my 6 month followup one week from today.  I just can't seem to lose anymore but I'm trying really hard.  I need to get out and walk more.  I was doing so well but then it got hot outside, near 100 temp with  114 heat index.  I wish we lived closer to the mall so I could just go walk in the air conditioning.  But, we don't, so I don't go often. 

I started this journey in a 28, sometimes size 30.  I'm now in a 16 and can wear some 14s depending on the cut and fabric.  I'm still feeling restriction.  I've discovered that I can eat about 3/4 cup of food but I usually stop at 1/2 cup because 3/4 makes me very full.  A typical day at 6 months post-op includes a protein shake for breakfast, lunchmeat and cheese or tuna for lunch and a grilled meat like chicken breast, steak or pork chop for dinner with some sauteed veggies.  I get about 800 calories a day, 70g of protein and less than 40g carbs.  I love my carbs, though, still do and sometimes they creep in and I get closer to 60g.  My weakness is potatoes.  I don't really do pasta anymore (though occasionally I'll have some Dreamfields.)  I've been guilty of having a few potato chips but not many.  One thing that kinda scares me is that I've discovered I'm able to tolerate bread again to a small extent.  I actually ate a hawaiian roll the other day.  Granted, they are small and I stopped there.  I've been able to eat a piece of toasted whole wheat bread for a while but the fresh bread thing is new.

Another thing I've noticed is that if I eat something other than a protein shake for breakfast, I'm more likely to graze for the rest of the day.  For instance, last week I had an egg in a basket for breakfast.  Then by the time lunch came around, I felt like I was starving but can't remember what I ate.  Later, I had a handful of almonds.  Then I ate dinner.  Later that night I had a small bowl of popcorn.  Compare that to yesterday.  I had a protein shake for breakfast, ham and cheese for lunch and a half of a small Wendy's chili for dinner.  That was it.  In fact, I almost feel like I could go back on the liquid protein diet (shake for breakfast, shake for lunch, lean protein and veggies for dinner) and be perfectly happy.  I know I'd eat less anyway and not miss it.

I started working again at the end of last month, but it didn't last long.  I was hired at a well known retail store for their bakery.  I have a lot of bakery experience so I was excited to start the job.  I loved the work, it was great.  But, let's backtrack.  I arrived to work early on my first day, water bottle in hand, ready to start the day.  When the manager showed up, she told me I was not allowed to have the water behind the counter.  She recommended I talk to personnel when they came in later that day, so I did.  Personnel told me that no, I can't have my water but I was welcome to leave the bakery to get a drink at the water fountain.  I offered a letter from my doctor but I was still not allowed my water.  So my problem was this - it gets busy and the water fountain is halfway across the store.  Not only that, but when I use the water fountain I am unable to track my fluids so I have no idea how much I'm getting in.  The first week about killed me.  I never had time to go to the fountain and I was so dehydrated.  By the time I got home from work after a 9 hour shift, there was just no way to catch up on my fluids.  I had to use my first break to drink my protein, my lunch to eat (can't drink after eating) and that left only my last break of the day to try to cram in as much fluid as I could at work.  When you only have a 6 oz stomach, that isn't easy.  I warned the manager and personnel that if I didn't have my fluids, I would end up in the hospital.  They didn't believe me and I really think they doubted that the majority of my stomach had been removed.  Anyway, come July 4th, guess where I was?  Yep, in the hospital hooked up to an IV getting fluids.  I had been so lightheaded and dizzy, had a headache, was weak and my blood pressure had skyrocketed.  I got 2 bags of fluids and went home that afternoon feeling so much better.  I called my work to tell them what happened and I still think they thought I was making things up.  I thought about it overnight and the next day I called to resign my position.  5 1/2 months post-op and that was the first complication I've had, first time I've needed fluids.  I didn't even get dehydrated when I had the flu 2 weeks post-op!  I figured it wasn't worth my health to continue that job.  So now I'm on the job hunt once again, looking for something that will accommodate my school schedule.

I guess that's it for updates for now.  I really need to update this blog more!