One Week Left!

258 lbs - 28 lbs lost!

This past week has been a whirlwind of appointments and I expect this coming week to go fast.  I had my final pre-op appointment with the weight loss center last Friday and got the all clear.  I went to see my PCP (primary care physician) today to get clearance for surgery and she gave me the green light as well.  In fact, she was so impressed with my blood pressure and cholesterol levels that she said I would probably be going off them for good very soon.  Yay!  The only reason she didn't take me off of the blood pressure medicine today is because I also take it as a migraine preventative.  But, since my blood pressure was way down, she'll probably adjust the dosage on it.  Amazing!  I've only lost 28 pounds so far, but I'm already seeing the positive effects on my health.

Age 10

On Wednesday, I'm going to the hospital to finish my pre-op and registration for surgery next Monday.  On Thursday, I will be seeing a counselor at my doctor's office for an intake appointment.  When I had seen the psychologist, he recommended that I see a counselor once or twice after surgery.  My PCP said she's really hard to get an appointment with, so she is having me do the intake this week, before surgery, so I can see her soon after.  So, I mentioned that I have now lost 28 pounds.  This is only 2 pounds away from my personal pre-surgery goal!  My surgeon never set one for me, but I wanted to do this.  After the first month, I didn't think it was going to be possible.  But, I'm almost there! 

1997 - 2 Years after graduating high school.  About 180lb

It really is a sense of accomplishment.  I know I'm not yet thin, by any means, but 258 is a lot different from 286.   I was a normal weight when I was a little girl.  I didn't really start putting on weight until junior high.  When I graduated high school, I weighed about 175 and wore a size 16.  

2000 - About 220 lbs

2002 - 244 lbs

I really packed on the pounds after high school while working in a few different bakeries.  I learned how to decorate cakes in high school, and it turned into a career for the first part of my adult life.  I made birthday cakes and wedding cakes, and was just around sweets all day long.  It was so easy to grab a cookie for a snack. 

2003 - 172 lbs

When my husband and I were married, I weighed 244.  Shortly before our wedding is when I started getting serious about weight loss.  I joined Curves and started watching what I ate.  I wore a size 20 wedding dress.  I hated being a fat bride. 

After my first daughter was born, I weighed about 172.  I achieved the weight loss with the help of a nutritionist, who put me on a low carb diet.  It worked, but it was hard.  I got pregnant again shortly after losing all the weight, and I gained back 114 lbs.

2008 - 276 lbs

I'm a little teapot, short and stout.  But, not for long!

 

I started looking into weight loss surgery in 2006.  I was at my wit's end and knew something had to be done.  I kept losing and then regaining.  But, every time I regained, I put even more on.  It was so frustrating!  At that time, the closest place I could have the surgery would have been in Chicago, so that really put me off.  Chicago is about a 5-6 hour drive from here, and I did not want to leave my kids and go that far away.  Plus, at the time, the sleeve was not an option and I kept reading a lot of horror stories about RNY Gastric Bypass.  It really scared me.  Fast forward to 2009, a local hospital opened a bariatric center.  I attended the seminar and started my 6 month doctor supervised diet.  While I was doing the supervised diet, the surgeon was let go due to inappropriate relationship with a patient as well as prescription abuse.  I gave up at that time.  Then, I learned last summer that there was a new surgeon, and everyone was singing his praises.  I attended yet another info session in August 2010.  I got my first appointment on October 29, 2010 and here I am, five years later and finally just a week away from my surgery!

Psychological Evaluation

My psychological evaluation was scheduled for December 28th at 2pm.  Although I arrived 15 minutes early to my appointment, I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong.  I got to the window to check in, but they didn't have me on their schedule.  They penciled me in, instead, for December 29th.  By the time I had gotten back to my car, I was  fighting tears back.  I had mentally prepared myself for this and was so disappointed that it didn't happen.  I calmed myself down and reminded myself that it's just one more day. 

The thing is that my appointments keep getting cancelled and rescheduled, and I feel like it's never going to happen, that it's just too good to be true.  Really, after being fat all my life and working toward this surgery for the past 4 1/2 years, could it really happen?  Or, am I just fooling myself, setting myself up for another disappointment.  Is it really too good to be true?  I have a hard time believing that I'll ever be at a normal body weight. 

I went back for my appointment yesterday, cpap in hand.  I was told to bring it because I was seeing the sleep medicine doctor, who also has a background in psychiatry.  I was nervous about taking the cpap because I've been having so many issues with it.  The last few nights have been much better, and I've been able to sleep most of the night with it on - though, I think it's partly because I took some Tylenol PM before bed.  He read the little SD card in the machine and could tell that I've been gradually doing better with it.  My sleep time seems to increase each night.  Overall, he seemed happy with the progress.  He set me up for another appointment in April.  At that time, I'll get to bring home a device that will has a nasal cannula and a pulse-ox to see if my hypopnea has went down.  No more sleep studies for now, thank God!!  He expects me to be able to come off of it eventually.  That was like music to my ears. 

After we discussed the sleep issues, we went on to psychological issues.  He took a basic history - medications, family history, previous psych issues.  The only major issue that came up is that he confirmed about seven years ago, I had a major depressive episode.  It was right after I lost my daughter and I really struggled with daily life.  However, he said that it was understandable given the circumstance and I am fully recovered.  I do have a lot of stress in my life, though.  I have three kids ages 6, 6 and 5.  I am also going back to school to finish my Social Work degree and my husband has been recovering from a traumatic accident last January that left him permanently disabled.  I have decreased my school work load for the spring semester, only taking two classes which are mostly online, because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the full course load.  He has recommended that I see a therapist once or twice after surgery to discuss any issues that I may have. 

One thing that stood out was him calling me a goody two shoes!  He said he could tell by looking at me that I didn't smoke, drink or do drugs.  He complimented me on the list I made a couple years ago of improvements I wanted to make in my life.  He thought it was a great idea and could see that I've strived to make that list a reality.  He also thought that I was the perfect candidate for this surgery because I am young, have no major health issues, I fully understand the procedure, am aware of the risks and complications and I have the determination to follow through. 

So, that's it!  I have been cleared for bariatric surgery.  And, he didn't commit me.  That's a huge plus. 

Putting My Plan Into Motion

I have tried several diets, weight loss pills and nothing has worked. Those that did work were only short term. I went low carb about 6 years ago and actually lost over 70 lbs. The problem was that I gained over 100 back. I am now at 279, just 8 lbs lighter than my heaviest weight ever. I am very unhappy with my body and have some other issues that might be because of my weight. I have hypertension, elevated cholesterol and have recently developed some heart issues. I am fortunate not to have had to deal with anything like diabetes.

I am doing this because I need this change. My body needs it as well as my mind. I am always so run down, and with three young children home, it just takes all I have to keep up with them. This weight loss surgery is actually part of a 5 phase plan to take back my life.

The first phase is my home life - my marriage, my children and my house. This includes building a stronger marriage, being there more for my kids, and working to keep my house in order.

The second phase is my health. This includes eating healthy, detoxing from caffeine, and having weight loss surgery.

The third phase is education - I am returning to school to finish my social work degree with a plan to go into perinatal hospice.

The fourth phase is financial. This includes taking care of all debts and eventually start saving and investing.

The fifth phase is fun. This includes anything that make me happy - from a night out with friends to a night in scrapbooking.

This list was made about a year and a half ago and I'm happy to say that I am still working on it. My marriage is in a much better place than it was. My house still seems to be in a constant state of clutter. I really think I have some hoarding tendencies but it's actually been kind of fun to start throwing things out. We had three yard sales over the summer and have gotten rid of so much, yet we still have a lot to go.

My health has unfortunately taken a turn for the worse. I had a nuclear stress test last week due to some concerns and am still waiting to get the report back. The caffeine detox isn't happening. It will, though. I don't want to totally give it up, but I'd like to go a few days without having it and not have to worry about a headache. The biggest part of Phase 2 will be the weight loss surgery. More on that later - after all, that is what this blog is about.

Phase 3 has been well underway for about three semesters now and I'm happy to say that I've even been inducted into the honor society. My GPA is high and I plan on applying for some scholarships when I transfer from the community college to the university.

Phase 4 has taken a back seat. My husband had a traumatic accident in January and has been off work since then. So, we're kind of living paycheck (er.. workers comp check) to paycheck right now. We'll get out of the hole eventually.

Phase 5, regrettably, has not even been touched. I've barely done anything fun. Maybe that's why I've developed heart issues. Someone needs to give me a swift kick in the butt and make me go have some fun.